3rd Rock from the Sun
s02e17 Same Old Song and Dick
But, um I do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning, banking and the killing of all spiders! Ha, spiders! Spiders are more afraid of us than we are of them.
- Harry, there's a spider on your neck.
- Get it off! Get it off! That's very funny.
- You could never handle my job! - I could do it with my eyes closed.
You do everything with your eyes closed.
Okay, big guy.
What do you say you and I trade jobs? All right, Sally.
I accept your challenge.
Mary Suppose a rugged, Italian woman with a camera appeared in a pick-up and gave me the old "honk and wave"? I shouldn't jump in her truck and drive off with her, should I? - Mm-hmm.
- No! - What?! - We are boring, aren't we?! Well, we might be in a little rut.
- How about we do something special tonight? - Okay.
You come over, we'll watch "jeopardy" and "the wheel," and we can order from the bamboo garden.
Yum.
Nina? - I'm on my break.
That's all right, I don't mind.
It's about Dr.
albright and me.
Oh, don't involve me in that freak show.
Things have changed between us and I don't know why.
Okay, what are you doing differently? Nothing.
Same movies, same take-out.
Same as it ever was.
- Wait, there's an article right here on that very thing.
- Oh, what luck.
Here, all the wisdom you seek and 10 new ways to show off your breasts.
Ah-ha! on bringing your lukewarm love life back to a boil.
Yes.
Now Showing off my breasts.
Our relationship is normal.
I don't want normal! I want ceaseless joy and never-ending passion like Romeo and Juliet! They both wound up dead.
- Antony and Cleopatra.
- Dead.
That couple from "wuthering heights".
Insane and dead.
F.
Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda.
Drunk, insane and dead.
Ah-ha! Ziegfried and Roy! Okay, one.
Please, give me my life back! No.
Give me the vacuum, Harry.
Just put it down and walk away.
No! No! It's mine! - Don't be a fool, Harry.
Give it over! - No! No, a deal's a deal! Spider! You want me to kill the spider, Harry? Huh? Just give me the vacuum and I'll kill the spider.
I can kill the spider.
I've been practicing with grapes.
Okay, here's the deal.
Grapes don't have eight legs.
And they don't jump! You did it, Harry.
Oh my God, you won.
Yes, I did.
Poor little spider! I hope he doesn't have kids! It's over, Harry.
It's okay.
Sally's here.
Sally's back.
August, ever since I've known you, you've always been so together-- what? Well, it's just everything you say and everything you do and everything you are is so perfect, and up there was the first time I ever saw you actually be Human.
You know, that's what I'm looking for in a woman.
Perfect? Me? I just got a "c-" in phys ed 'cause I can't lift my own body weight.
I bite my nails.
I have a lousy sense of direction.
And this nose is not exactly Cindy Crawford's.
- You're right.
It hooks a little to the left there-- - so - I am not perfect.
- Certainly are not.
Bug, you've got a pair showing.
I can't help it.
- I'm out.
- In.
- I'm out.
- Read 'em and weep.
Good bye, underwear.
Leon, you still got your socks on, buddy! My feet get cold.
Seven card stud.
- You in? - I've got nothing left to lose.
- Get me a beer? - Uh-- I'd rather not.
Excuse me.
- Mary! - I said excuse me.
No.
No, it's fine.
I've never heard you do that before.
Do you realize what this means? Beef and broccoli? Yes, but so much more! Don't you see, it didn't bother you.
And I didn't bother me.
Well, good, 'cause there's another one on the way.
It's the best possible sign.
We've entered a new phase.
It's like you said, relationships change.
We've become Comfortable with each other.
It's as if you've trumpeted the dawn of our new era! - So, what do you want to do tomorrow? - This.
- You? - This! - Oh, Mary! - Oh! Was that you or me? - Does it matter? - No.