3rd Rock from the Sun
s02e26 A Nightmare on Dick Street (2)
Don? Don? Where's don? - Sally.
Oh, don! I didn't kill you? I didn't kill you! No, you just emasculated me.
- I've got to see something.
- Sally! No feathers.
Oh-- oh, my God.
Sally, uh, you're gonna have to calm down.
Oh, don't you see, don? You're alive, which means it's my brain, my sick, twisted brain.
I could be capable of anything.
Anything at all! - There's only one hope, don.
- I've got to get on the pill.
Um, this isn't how I expected this to happen, but hey.
Dick's on the pill, and it seems to be working for him.
Okay, you lost me again.
Uh, I'll call you when I'm not myself anymore.
Okay, so she's crazy, but she's got legs up to her face! -
Permission to speak, high commander.
- Permission granted.
- Well, we might as well just take this mission, roll it up and stick it-- incoming message from the big, giant head.
"Your request to return home for emergency maintenance has been authorized.
" - Yes! - "The time-space portal will open tomorrow evening Between 8:51 and 8:53 P.
M.
earth time.
On your journey home, we will be showing tin cup, starring Kevin costner and rene Russo.
" Well, that settles it.
We're going.
"The big, giant head looks forward to reading your comprehensive report on the history of human civilization.
" Oh, no.
Tommy, you got to be strong.
You're right.
As acting high commander, I order you to turn over the pills.
Oh, he thinks he's high commander.
That's so cute.
Let's give him a salute.
Harry, get rid of 'em! No, not that way! Tommy, Harry, I want to thank you for getting us off that pill.
- Oh, you feel better? - Oh, I feel horrible.
But at least I feel.
Well, we just have to keep it together for a few more hours.
- What do you mean? - While we were "out," Tommy got a hold of the big, giant head.
- We leave tonight at 8:53.
- Last chance for ice cream.
- When are we coming back? - I don't know, I didn't ask.
Who knows? The service department's always backed up.
Yep.
They'll probably have to send out for parts.
Could be a week, could be a year, could be 200 years.
- What about Mary? - Oh, she'll be dead.
Hello, Mary.
I came by to say I will miss you terribly.
Really? Is there anything else I should know? Yes.
I care about you deeply and I love you.
Of course.
Do you mind if I pack? - What? - Nothing.
I bit my fist.
In conclusion, I'll always carry a locket of your DNA, and you'll be glad to know that the vision of your naked body will be with me for all time.
Well, I guess there's nothing else to say but good bye.
- Good bye, dick.
- Good bye, Mary.
I'm walking away now.
No.
No, this is not how it ends.
This has been a long and difficult journey, and it will not end this way.
There will be no tepid farewells for us.
I need you, Mary-- your eyes, your face, your every nook and cranny-- especially your cranny.
You are Mary world, and I love Mary world.
It's the happiest place on earth.
Oh, come on, Mary! Let's take a spin on those teacups! - I don't want to go! - I don't want to go either! -
You're the high commander, and we respect your decision.
Get him! - What the hell? - Oh, uh, hello, Mary.
Don't worry.
The "besacking" of the groom is a time-honored tradition.
What kind of tradition? I'm gonna go with "Jewish.
" Okay.
Dick, we have to go.
We have guests.
- All right.
- Dick, are you sure, absolutely sure you want to go back to the party? Absolutely.
Well, this is good bye, then.
It's just cake and champagne.
He'll be home in half an hour.
Oh, yeah.
True.
- So I'll see you in a half an hour.
- Sounds good.
Pick up some milk on the way home, hmm? I will.
I promise.
- I'll be at the mall if you need me.
- Don't stay long.
It's a school night, and I worry.
Come to the store, dick.
Our coupons are in your car.
They've always been in your car! For crying out loud, he's just getting married.
Oh, yeah.
Well, we got to go.
The store closes at 8:53.
Good bye! Will they be living with us? I never dreamed I'd see the day Dr.
albright settled down.
You're as crazy as I am! I know it's crazy.
It woke me up out of a sound sleep.
Yes! That's when it strikes-- when you're asleep! Well, yeah, dick.
That's when most people dream.
"Most people dream"? - What's the matter with you? - Nothing.
Nothing's the matter with me.
And there's nothing the matter with Tommy and Sally.
Oh, my God! There's nothing the matter with any of us! - Where are you going? - Home! Before it's too late! Hello? Sally? Harry? Tommy? "Dear dick, of all the people we've worked for, you were the best, you stupid, stupid man.
" And they're gone.
I miss them.