3rd Rock from the Sun
s03e10 Tom, Dick and Mary
Tommy, I'm meeting Kevin at the mall.
Do you want to come along? Yeah! Yeah.
That'd be great! Me, my old girlfriend, her new boyfriend, cruisin' the food court, hangin' out, splittin' a hot pretzel.
No.
You are so immature.
Oh, really, August, and how old are you? I'm not talking about age, Tommy.
I'm talking about maturity.
Oh, maturity.
I see.
Well, tell me, August.
Who's the one who wants to hang out at the mall, hmm?! Your son is impossible.
I completely agree.
He doesn't get that girls mature faster, and that women-- blah, blah, blah.
You made your point.
I said I agreed.
Now get out!
And the Aztecs are-- they're off the arc by 2,000 years, and that is why their advancements are never recognized.
You have a very interesting theory.
Well, for a teenager.
No, for anybody.
Most people dismiss non-Literate cultures.
Well, we live in one.
Would you like a cup of coffee, Tommy? Could you do me a favor? Hmm.
Call me tom.
Would you like a cup of coffee, tom? I would love a cup of coffee, Mary.
All right.
Hello "Sally.
" I'm Carl.
Hi.
You know, you should check on your friend over there.
No speak-a De English.
I don't work in personnel.
I'm in distribution, but maybe I can help you get through that.
Oh, yeah.
I'm having some trouble filling it out.
You're, uh, filling it out just fine.
I'm, uh, looking for a new assistant.
Oh, great! And I already know you can type 40 words per minute.
Hell, I can type 100 words per minute, you give me enough time.
Aah! What's the matter? Oh.
He's thinking.
Tommy, do you still have feelings for me? Sorry, August.
I'm seeing someone else.
What? I can't believe this.
Kevin and I have only been going out for a month, and you already have a new girlfriend? Oh, that's rich.
Good-bye.
Your son is impossible! And you're a pain in the ass.
You're made for each other!
Well, speaking of distractions, I can't stop thinking about what's under that jacket.
I mean, give me a break.
I'm only human.
I'm sorry.
Does that help? Oh, that's much better.
Ok.
Look, Mr.
Webber, I just want you to know that I read that booklet from the human resources-- oh, whoa, whoa.
Whoa! I was just kidding.
Honestly.
Oh, you're very kind, but, look, I know I look hot, and if I have impeded your performance or made you uncomfortable in the workplace, I apologize for that right now.
Well, if you want to apologize, maybe we could do it over drinks.
Oh, that's sweet.
'Cause I certainly can't work with those legs around.
Do you have any idea what you're doing to me? Oh, my god.
[Door closes.]
I'm sexually harassing my boss!