잡화점 고양이

ㅡ

하얀 고양이 — Tue, 29 Aug 2023 14:27:36 +0900

Harry, do you have to be doing that right now? Yeah.
I got a 500-word book report due for night school.
"It's so dreadful to be poor, sighed-- all right, enough.
Listen, the key to studying is finding the short cuts, all right? Look, later we'll go out, we'll buy you some cliff notes.
It's like an easy little synopsis, all right? It'll take you Ooh, what a relief.
I don't mind readin'.
It's readin' books that I hate.
Harry, why aren't you studying? Oh, don't worry, Dick.
Tommy and I are going to go out later and just buy a book report.
Ah.
Good man.

Hey, Dick, don't forget your lunch.
Oh, no, I'm sorry.
I'm meeting officer Don at the police station for lunch.
Oh, make sure he shows you the tank.
The tank? Yeah, but don't get too close, otherwise the inmates will start hootin' and hollerin' and telling you they love ya.
Oh.
I'd better put on my new tie.
Well, Dick, this is it.
The tank.
Oh.

Unlike you, I happen to have faith in the human race.
I can take any one of these men, rehabilitate him, and make him a productive member of society.
You're mad, Solomon.
Am I? Come on, you, you're coming home with me.
What are you doing? I'm going to pay his fine and make him whole again.
As god is my witness, nothing will deter me from saving this man.
Ok.
His fine is $1,500.
Ooh.
How much for the skinny one? Uh, 750.
And the short hair in the corner? Eddie? 100 bucks.
Wrap him up.
I'll take him.

What's going on? Oh, Sally, I'd like you to meet Eddie, my plain old regular friend Eddie.
He's been in prison.
Ok, bend over.
Sally, Sally, he's a friend.
He's a guest.
You will treat him with respect.
Did you find anything? He's clean.

Eddie, the bathroom is right in there.
Why don't you go take a nice hot shower and scrub off the stench of incarceration? He means to kill us.
Oh, hush.
How dare you?! This man is a human being, and right now he's giving me something to do.
Dick, isn't this a major security breach? Oh, nonsense.
It's a magnificent experiment.
I intend to prove that a nurturing family and a solid role model can turn a man's life around.
And who would that role model be? You're lookin' at him, sass mouth.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Your lease says absolutely, positively no dogs.
Why, are you allergic? No.
I just get nervous.
You know how dogs like to dig? I got 6 cats buried in the backyard.
Oh.
You better make that 5.
Not my problem.
Not my dog anymore.
We don't want him.
Well, I'm not taking him back.
Oh, naturally.
Nobody wants to take responsibility.
I can see that yet again, it falls upon me to make Sally take responsibility.
Oh, great.
I can't believe I have to deal with that miserable creature.
You're talking about me, aren't you? Oh, yeah.

ㅏ

s03e10 Tom, Dick and Mary

하얀 고양이 — Sat, 12 Aug 2023 12:39:32 +0900

3rd Rock from the Sun
s03e10 Tom, Dick and Mary

Tommy, I'm meeting Kevin at the mall.
Do you want to come along? Yeah! Yeah.
That'd be great! Me, my old girlfriend, her new boyfriend, cruisin' the food court, hangin' out, splittin' a hot pretzel.
No.
You are so immature.
Oh, really, August, and how old are you? I'm not talking about age, Tommy.
I'm talking about maturity.
Oh, maturity.
I see.
Well, tell me, August.
Who's the one who wants to hang out at the mall, hmm?! Your son is impossible.
I completely agree.
He doesn't get that girls mature faster, and that women-- blah, blah, blah.
You made your point.
I said I agreed.
Now get out!

And the Aztecs are-- they're off the arc by 2,000 years, and that is why their advancements are never recognized.
You have a very interesting theory.
Well, for a teenager.
No, for anybody.
Most people dismiss non-Literate cultures.
Well, we live in one.
Would you like a cup of coffee, Tommy? Could you do me a favor? Hmm.
Call me tom.
Would you like a cup of coffee, tom? I would love a cup of coffee, Mary.
All right.

Hello "Sally.
" I'm Carl.
Hi.
You know, you should check on your friend over there.
No speak-a De English.
I don't work in personnel.
I'm in distribution, but maybe I can help you get through that.
Oh, yeah.
I'm having some trouble filling it out.
You're, uh, filling it out just fine.
I'm, uh, looking for a new assistant.
Oh, great! And I already know you can type 40 words per minute.
Hell, I can type 100 words per minute, you give me enough time.

Aah! What's the matter? Oh.
He's thinking.
Tommy, do you still have feelings for me? Sorry, August.
I'm seeing someone else.
What? I can't believe this.
Kevin and I have only been going out for a month, and you already have a new girlfriend? Oh, that's rich.
Good-bye.
Your son is impossible! And you're a pain in the ass.
You're made for each other!

Well, speaking of distractions, I can't stop thinking about what's under that jacket.
I mean, give me a break.
I'm only human.
I'm sorry.
Does that help? Oh, that's much better.
Ok.
Look, Mr.
Webber, I just want you to know that I read that booklet from the human resources-- oh, whoa, whoa.
Whoa! I was just kidding.
Honestly.
Oh, you're very kind, but, look, I know I look hot, and if I have impeded your performance or made you uncomfortable in the workplace, I apologize for that right now.
Well, if you want to apologize, maybe we could do it over drinks.
Oh, that's sweet.
'Cause I certainly can't work with those legs around.
Do you have any idea what you're doing to me? Oh, my god.
[Door closes.]
I'm sexually harassing my boss!

s03e09 Seven Deadly Clips

하얀 고양이 — Sun, 6 Aug 2023 05:30:39 +0900

3rd Rock from the Sun
s03e09 Seven Deadly Clips

Chocolate fudge cake, pecan swirl ice cream, chocolate-covered pretzels, and chocolate eclairs.
Oh, this is the best dinner ever.
I can make a steak.
What, out of chocolate? Mm! This ice cream's delicious.
Actually, it's "sinfully delicious.
" I would gladly go to hell for a pint of this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait a minute.
So you're trying to tell me that eating a pint of that and killing a guy are equally bad? No.
Actually, there are different kinds of sin.
Some are innocent and others quite deadly.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the 7 deadly sins.
I learned about them at school.

Oh, come on! Telling me I'm not great? That should be one of the 7 deadly sins right there.
Who's with me? Shut up, Dick.
Everything is always about you.
It's really pissing me off.
You know, that's one of the 7 deadly sins right there.
Pissing me off? No.
Anger.

The question was rhetorical, Harry.
Bring on the steak! But you guys might be committing the most deadly of all sins-- gluttony.
Ah, perhaps, but it is also the most diabolically delicious.

s03e08 A Friend in Dick

하얀 고양이 — Wed, 19 Jul 2023 09:02:40 +0900

3rd Rock from the Sun
s03e08 A Friend in Dick

Sally, it appears that your new boyfriend has bogarted my coffee.
Yeah.
Something tells me he ate all our cereal, too.
Yeah? So? [English accent.]
We spent the night together.
He got a little hungry.
What's the big deal? You slept with him? No.
We were discussing his writing.
He is an artist, you know.
Yeah.
A starving artist.
Oh, Harry, that was pretty clever.
Yeah.
I have no idea why.
I don't like what this guy has done to you, Sally.
You're broody and moody, and your hair looks like--like-- like what? Doody.
Yeah, well, what do you know? You and your ivory tower, hurling down your wisdom McNUGGETS dipped in the special sauce of the establishment.
[Muttering.]
Now hang on there, Missy.
I command you to drop that ridiculous accent.
What accent? The bad English one.
I don't have to do a thing you-- lieutenant.
Okey-dokey.

Well, what am I supposed to do? Well, why don't you bring one of your friends? My friends? Oh, oh.
Yes, of course.
It's just that there's so many.
Choosing one could result in hurt feelings.
Ironically, I might end up losing friends over this.
Maybe we'll see you there.
Mm, yeah, I'll see you there.
Yeah, with one of my many, many friends! Nina-- not a chance in hell.

You know, hopefully, for a nice profit.
Scalping tickets is a misdemeanor.
Come with me.
Wait a second, uh it's Ok, Rico.
He's a friend.
Yeah, that's right.
That's right.
Don's a friend of mine.
Don and I are friends.
My friend Don.
All right.
See you back at the station, Don.
So, Don, I have an extra ticket.
It's yours if you want it.
An extra ticket, huh? I hear it's a pretty good show.
Pretty good? The Rutherford bugle calls it "tap-licious.
" Well, I suppose crime could strike inside the theater just as well as it could out here.
Look at Abe Lincoln.
Let's go!

Hey, wait.
You are just gonna have to go to high school and get a high school diploma.
Huh? No.
Nooo.
Noooo! Oh, forget it.
I don't wanna.
Ah, Harry, come on.
Let's go sign you up.
You see, you gotta think of a diploma as an investment.
Yeah.
An investment in your roller blades.
Ah, you see? You're learning already.

So tomorrow night I was thinking sushi and the dog track? Well, that sounds like fun, but tomorrow night's no good for me.
No.
You working the late shift? No.
Oh, you got a hot date? No, no.
Who is she? Come on, come on.
No, no heh heh heh.
No, I'm going out with my buddy Ernie.
We're bowling a couple of games and eating some chicken wings.
Oh, of course.
Chicken wings.
I'm sure you'll have a good time with your buddy Ernie.
Smooth.
Disappointing.

Night school is the same thing as regular school.
The only difference is it's at night.
Which makes it really spooky.
Granted.
But there's only a few things you need to remember, you know: make sure the tough guys think you're cool, grab a seat next to a babe, and, uh, you know, don't let the teacher push you around.
Ok.
Tough.
Babe.
Don't let the teacher push you around.
Is that it? Oh! Yeah, and never put your mouth directly on the drinking fountain.
But that's how I drink from the fountain.
Not at school.
Ok.
Well here I go.
Oh, uh, aren't you forgetting something? I'm sorry.
No! The snack!

Sowhere should we begin, me not-so-wee lass? Well, why don't you tell me? [Gasps.]
You strike me as a lady who knows [Pats chair.]
What she wants.
Well, peter [Clears throat.]
You know what I want right now more than anything in the world? Tell me, buttercup.
Coffee.
Coffee? Yeah.
You know, I want to be wide awake in case we go for a ride on the old tour bus.
Eh! Well, then, by all means, lass, let usLATTÃ©!

What happened out there? That wasn't the Seth I know! Sally, please! I was mocking Connelly.
He signed your shoes.
Yeah.
The shoes of a man who hates him.
Ha hah! I don't believe this.
You're a fraud! Sally, the whole culture here's a fraud.
I'm a fraud, you're a fraud, life's a fraud.
Yes, but you in particular are a complete fraud! God, when I think of what I gave up for you.
I mean, my family, my self-respect, my hair-care regimen! Hey, just relax.
You're being stupid.
That's the wrong thing to say.
Jig on outta here, loser!

Maybe I don't know how to diagram the damn sentence.
You ever stop to think of that? That's Ok, Harry.
If you had all the answers, you wouldn't need to be here.
What's your point, teach? Well, my point is we're all here to learn together.
We are? Yes.
Are you sure? I'm sure.
I wanna learn! I wanna learn!

I don't have any friends.
And you know why? Because I devoted all my time to my relationship with you.
Finger-pointing is not going to solve your problems.
I'm not finger-pointing.
But it's your fault! You! You wouldn't come with me to king of the jig! I had to replace you with Don, and now he won't even speak to me.

s03e07 Eleven Angry Men and One Dick

하얀 고양이 — Tue, 18 Jul 2023 09:03:51 +0900

3rd Rock from the Sun
s03e07 Eleven Angry Men and One Dick

"You have been summoned to serve as a juror "in Ohio state court, Rutherford, Ohio.
Such service is a privilege and a duty--" oh, jury duty? Throw it out.
And if they call you on it, tell them it was lost in the mail.
That is why the judicial system is in such a shambles.
It's people like you who are too apathetic to show up.
You threw yours out last year.
Well, yeah, I'm not about to serve on a jury in the summertime.
Well, winter, spring, summer, or fall, all they have to do is call and I'll be there.
Yes, I will.
Well, what a huge honor.
A tremendous opportunity.
Well, thank you, boys.
No.
No, not you, Dick.
Albright's offering 10 bucks a day for people not to talk.
Are you interested? Are you kidding? That's double what Sally pays.

Sally, thank god you're alive.
What? Uh, a tanker full of milk jackknifed on the interstate.
I thought you might be in it.
No, Don, I'm fine.
I've been here all day practicing my smoking and my accent.
Well, this trip was unnecessary.
You want to check out the wreck? I'm a cop.
I can get us real close.
Oh, no, thanks, Don.
You don't want to see a wreck? Are you feeling all right? I'm fine.
I just got to go meet this guy Seth.
You know, you would really like him.
Seth? I picked him up at the coffee shop.
He talks kind of funny, but he is dreamy.
He's an artist, but he's tortured.
Tortured, huh? There's a lot of that going around.
He's so wonderful.
You know, I have never felt this depressed before.
I'm really happy for you.

You know, I have never met anyone like you, Seth.
Most guys I meet have goals and careers.
Not you.
You're an artist.
Artist?! How can I paint when seagulls are choking on plastic can holders? Ok, let's go down to the lake, grab a 6-pack of 'em, and set 'em free.
What's the point? It's not going to buy a little kid in Appalachia his asthma medicine.
We could organize a walkathon and get that kid some dough! Sally, I have a play to write, and an artist lives only for his art.
And he only wears black, ' cause it goes with everything.
And nothing.
Wow.

Sir, do you believe everything you read in the newspapers? No, of course not.
Thank you.
You're excused.
Do you believe everything you read in the newspaper? Yes.
Every last word.
The newspaper is my bible.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
You're excused.
Ok, now it's personal.

Hey.
Do I, uh, know--jeez! Sally! My god, what have you done? Seth has convinced me to reject the media's definition of what a woman is.
From now on, you'll never see me in tight jeans or a push-up bra or thong underwear.
In fact, I'm done with underwear for good.
Hmm.
Why? Seth helped me see who I really am.
[English accent.]
I'm a different person now.
You're talking crazy.
You don't paint a mustache on the Mona Lisa.
You don't eat steak on thanksgiving.
And you don't muck around with Sally.

one pizza.
What? I'm in the mood for pizza.
Fine! Let's have pizza.
Aha! If you could have pizza, couldn't you vote innocent? No! Maybe you'll all change your tune when you hear about a little thing called reasonable doubt.
What's the point? The point is, it's reasonable to assume that foster used the money to pay for his sick daughter's life-threatening operation.
No, it's not.
He doesn't have a daughter.
It's not a reasonable doubt if you just make things up.
Oh, so it's truth you want? Yes.
You want the truth? You want the truth? Well, I can't handle the truth!

I think they want to invite the rest of the tribe into the shelter.
I'll go in there.
I think they're inviting you, Caryn.
I'm scared.
Albright: it's all right.
Go ahead.
Um, we're getting a little off-track here.
This is the first experiment I ever understood.
Guys! Guys! You're not communicating! Stop! Stop! This experiment is over! Shut up! Get out! Where's our money? Here.
Get out! So, um, you want to book us for next semester? No! We'll see.

The jury system is like a never-ending battle.
Justice always depends on fair-minded humans outnumbering the bigots, fools, and cowards.
Yeah, which one are you? Fair-minded coward.
Yeah.
Justice is so much simpler where we come from.
Oh, yeah, you simply hook the suspect to the old truth belt, and if his tube stays purple, he's innocent.
If it turns blue, he's guilty.
Nice and clean.
Oh, except for those times when it doesn't change all the way, and then you get into those endless arguments about, "ooh, I think it's magenta.
" "No, that looks lavender.
" Well, I guess our system isn't perfect either.
All systems are corrupt.
[Sighs.]
That's right, sunshine.
What's for dinner, Sally? [English accent.]
Whatever you make yourself.
I'm meetin' Seth.
Oh.
Have a nice night, princess.
God, when does it end? Ah, it's just a phase.
Yeah, she'll grow out of it.

s03e06 Moby Dick

하얀 고양이 — Wed, 5 Jul 2023 06:05:24 +0900

3rd Rock from the Sun
s03e06 Moby Dick

Hey.
Where are all the marshmallow bits?
They just poured out that way.
Hey, you guys.
Look.
Dubcek gave me a tomato plant.
I'm gonna feed it, and in a couple of weeks, we'll have fresh, plump, juicy tomatoes.
Silly Sally.
You can go down to the corner and get fresh tomatoes from Mr.Lee, and you don't have to feed him Nothin'.
He hates it when you even try.

Well, now, that was uncalled for!
Peanut brittle?
You know, Dr.Solomon, sometimes when there are changes in your life, you use eating as a way of filling that void.
Changes?
Well, nothing has changed in my life.
Well, except for the fact that Mary and I are no longer romping lustfully in pastures of delight, our writhing bodies eternally entwined, glistening like the morning dew.
Bingo.

Aah!
Why are you so jumpy?
Oh! I'm smack dab in the middle of dying is deadly.
Number 14 in the Anson nembrook detective series.
Oh, it's a gripper.
I think August is cheating on me.
Why?
Did she take out a big insurance policy on you and then have her lover cut your brake lines? I don't know what to do.
Well, don't ask me.
I'm 3 days away from retirement.
I gotta know.
Ok!
You talked me into it.
I'll tail her for ya.
I could do that.
Oh, yeah, but she knows you.
She knows you, too.
Well, yeah, but not intimately.
Me, neither.
Really?
Well, then why do you care?
Ohh! Well, that looks pretty crappy.

So, um how's your diet going, Dr.
Solomon? Oh, it's not just a diet, Nina.
It's a complete lifestyle change.
Sally just signed me up for a step class.
I'm drinking 8 16-ounce glasses of water a day, and I can eat all the grapefruit I like.
I suppose you have to diet when you don't have the willpower to simply eat right.
Mmm.
You wouldn't believe how delicious this grapefruit is.
Mary: mmm.
Would either of you like a taste? No, thanks.
That's all right.
Can I taste yours? You know, Dick, if you're too weak to be in the same room with pizza , Nina and I can go in her office.
Oh, no, no, no.
That--that's not necessary.
I'll give you a whole grapefruit for just one pepperoni! Let's go.
No! Uhuh how about 2? 2 grapefruits! And my watch!

Dr.
Solomon! You look great! Thank you, Nina.
I feel great.
You dropped your calculator.
No.
That's where I keep it.
Here.
Let me get that for you.
Thank you.
[Rip.]
What was that? Mary: Dick? Excuse me.
Are you all right? All right? I couldn't be better.

Whatcha eatin' there, Dick? Ribs.
Fat-free ribs? Oh, shut up! My diet is dead.
Oh.
Diet, huh? Must be rough.
Lucky for me, I was blessed with a high metabolism.
Thanks for the ride, Don.
Hold it there, Harry.
I can only release you into the custody of a family member.
Well, I'm right here.
Not you.
Where's Sally? She's in the other room.
Is she alone? Well, she's with Jeremy.
Jeremy.
Well, it's like she's obsessed.
You got any more hot sauce? Can I have a rib? No! No!

Let's hear from our newest fat-loser.
Hello.
My name is Dick, and I'm a fat-loser.
Sit down! No.
I have a lot to say.
But I don't want to bore you all with why I'm here.
I want to tell you why Mary Albright is here.
Dick! You see, we were lovers once, but that's all over now.
And she pretends that she's Ok with it, but she's not.
And so she's been trying to replace me with other men.
Men like Oscar Meyer Ben & jerry and the Pillsbury doughboy! Dick, please.

hey, August.
And Kevin Douglas.
You must be in drama class, too.
So you're quite a little actress there, August.
So you two are just rehearsing away.
It's very convincing.
I'd--I'd pay to see something like this.
So, now, tell me, Kevin, so you're, uhyou're, uh you'rekissing your new girlfriend, aren't you? Can you give me a minute? Right.
August, how could you do this to me? Me do this to you? What kind of a boyfriend are you? You--you lust after our music teacher.
You flirt with that sleazy Lorna.
Ok, but in all fairness, they both totally blew me off.

Oh! My pants fit! I won the war! That's great, Dick.
You lost weight? Even better.
I bought bigger pants.
Good thinking, tiny.
Why are you eating like that? [Mumbling.]
I'm sorry to hear it.
Well, Dick, your salad's ready.
I hope you like it.
Salad? Little guys never knew what hit 'em.
Who wants salad? I want some real food! I cannot believe how insensitive you Ar-- shh! Listen! [Ice-cream truck music playing.]
Mr.
Frosty smooth! Mr.
Frosty smooth! He's right on time!

s03e05 Scaredy Dick

하얀 고양이 — Wed, 5 Jul 2023 05:57:22 +0900

3rd Rock from the Sun
s03e05 Scaredy Dick

Dr.
Solomon, the Dean's office called.
They say you never had your physical.
How can they say that? So you did take your physical? I did nothing of the sort.
Everyone who works here has to take one.
Oh.
I've scheduled you with Dr.
Howard for this afternoon.
Oh, well, Dr.
Howard is in for a treat.
I am a masterpiece, a perfect human being.
Not a strand of Dna out of place.
He'll probably want my organs to put on display.
Yeah, the sooner the better.

박사님.
솔로몬, 학장실에서 전화가 왔습니다.
그들은 당신이 신체검사를 받은 적이 없다고 말합니다.
어떻게 그렇게 말할 수 있죠? 그래서 신체검사를 하셨나요? 저는 그런 일은 전혀 하지 않았습니다.
여기서 일하는 사람들은 모두 하나씩 가져가야 합니다.
오호.
박사님과 약속을 잡았습니다.
오늘 오후의 하워드입니다.
오, 그럼, 닥터.
하워드는 한턱낼 겁니다.
나는 걸작이고, 완벽한 인간입니다.
DNA 한 가닥도 어긋나지 않습니다.
그는 아마 내 장기들이 전시되기를 원할 것입니다.
네, 빠르면 빠를수록 좋습니다.

Dr.
Solomon, if you don't get your physical, they're gonna hold your paychecks until you do.
Oh, oh, Nina.
Of course, I'll go.
I'm looking forward to it.
That's better.
Come with me, Nina.
Please! I can't face the doctor alone.
What are you afraid of? Oh, I don't know.
Ever since I went there, I'm scared of everything.
Come with me, please! Me? Why don't you ask Dr.
Albright? Mary? Seeing me naked and vulnerable, quivering with fear? Oh, ho, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.
Well, why do I have to get the satisfaction?

We're going to Albright's.
Why? What for? It's Halloween, Harry.
And every little brat in Rutherford is hopped up higher than a kite on m&Ms.
And from what I hear, Albright's house is ground zero for destruction.
Oh, no, that sounds too dangerous.
You can count me out.
Good.
Stay here, Harry.
Alone.
All alone.
I don't care.
On Halloween.
Fright night.
When the dead become living and the living become dead! I don't care.
Hi, hi, hi.
Trick or treat.
Ohhh, Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.
Lovely costumes.
Very nice.
Thanks, dubie.
Oh, Harry, you're an alien.
I am not! I meanyes.

Care for some spinach, cap'n? Oh, sure.
I don't really have any spinach.
Well, then why did you get my hopes up? Have you seen Dr.
Albright? Well, what is she dressed like? Uh, Nancy kassebaum, the former republican senator from Kansas.
Uh, we haven't seen her.
Yeah, I would have noticed that.
Oh, there she is.
She's mingling with a skeleton.
Arrr, look who thinks he's scary.
Well, I be not a-feared of ye, you bag of bones.
Now unhand me former wench.
Hello, Dick.
Dr.
Howard? Shiver me timbers.
So, Dick.
Where are your buccaneers? Under my buccan-hat.
Dick, I heard you ran out of Dr.
Howard's office today.
That's not true.
It's my word against his.
Ahem.
It's Nina's and my word against his.

Ok, the way I see it, you put all the candy in the bowl you put the bowl out the door and you're through for the night.
What do you think of that, Tommy? Yeah, I like it, considering I just suggested it a minute ago.
Don't sass me, private.
[Doorbell rings.]
Trick or treat.
Oh, it's self-serve, honey.
[Doorbell rings.]
What? Trick or treat.
I just told-- hey, what happened to all the candy? The pope took it.
Nice plan, Tommy.
Don't you have anything else? Uh, yeah.
Give me a second.
So, uh how are things? Uh, pretty good.
All right.
Uh, here you go.
What is it? Half pound of hamburger meat.
Enjoy! Trick or treat.
Don't bother.
Alls they got left is beef.
Ugh! Hey! That better not have been the pope! That's it! You're toast, pontiff.

Who you gonna call, Dick? Ghostbusters.
Are you crazy? It's their busiest night of the year.
Give me your flashlight.
Ok, here's the deal.
The ghost gets the basement, the apartment, and the rambler, and we keep the closet.
That seems fair.
We can spruce up the place with some yellow slickers.
I don't know what's the matter with me.
I want to be brave but I'm too afraid.
Dick, in order to be brave, you must first start by being afraid.
For true courage lies in the overcoming of fear, not in its absence.
That's brilliant, Harry.
Who said that? Blue power ranger.

What did you do to the Bernstein boy? We worked him over.
He gave it up.
The perp is wally Taylor.
All right.
Come on, Tommy.
We're through here.
Uh, there are no eggs on the outside of my house.
They're all in here.
Thank you so much.
Ah, don't thank us.
Just doing our job, ma'am.
Aah! Duck! What? Oh, my god! So it wasn't the pope.
It was batman all along.

You know, in a way, every day is Halloween for us.
You mean because we hide behind these bodies, pretending to be something we're not? Uh, yeah.
So, Tommy, what's with the mustache? Well, guys, I've made a little decision.
The mustache stays.
Oh, that's muy macho.
You know what I've learned this Halloween? That you should always be brave enough to face your fears.
Because when you do, it's only Mrs.
Dubcek stuck behind a wall.
Always? Always.
Ok, so I know it was Dubcek who was screaming, but did you ever figure out who was rattling those chains? Oh, yes.
That's the ghost of Mr.
Ferguson.
Dubcek says he was brutally murdered in our apartment this very night.

Read more: https://www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/view_episode_scripts.php?tv-show=3rd-rock-from-the-sun&episode=s03e05

s03e04 Dick-In-Law

하얀 고양이 — Mon, 26 Jun 2023 21:04:57 +0900

3rd Rock from the Sun
s03e04 Dick-In-Law

It's off-putting, isn't it? 기분 나쁘죠, 그렇죠?
Who's that? 그거 누구예요?
It sounds terrific, Martha. 그거 멋지네요, 마사.
Martha.
My mother.
Yeah.
Oh, god, no!
Yes, best to you, Martha. 그래요, 잘 되길 바래요, 마사.
Yeah, right, right.
I can't wait for you to meet me. 당신이 저를 빨리 만나기를 바랍니다.
What did you just do?! 방금 뭐 한거예요?
You didn't tell me that I was gonna meet your parents this weekend. 이번 주말에 내가 당신 부모님을 만난다는 말 안 했잖아요.
You're not!
Well, they said that you'd made the plans. 음, 그들은 당신이 계획을 세웠다고 말하던데요.
A--a month ago, when we were engaged. 한 달 전에, 우리가 약혼했을 때였어요.
That would be 2 weeks before you ruined everything. 당신이 모든 것을 망치기까지 2주가 걸렸죠.
Come on, Mary.
It'll be fun.
Telling my parents my engagement is off is not my idea of fun. 부모님께 약혼이 취소되었다고 말하는 건 내가 생각하는 재미가 아니예요.
What, you haven't told them yet? 아직 말 안 했어요?
Are you kidding?
For years, they predicted I'd become an old spinster who sits alone every night drinking wine and talking to her cat. 몇 년 동안, 그들은 제가 매일 밤 혼자 앉아 와인을 마시며 고양이와 이야기하는 늙은 노처녀가 될 것이라고 예측했어요.

* off-putting
정이 안 가는, 좋아하기 힘든, 비호감의

I've got to make a good impression when I meet Mary's parents. 메리의 부모님을 만나면 좋은 인상을 심어줘야 해.
Mary Albright's parents?
They're still alive?
My god, they must be so old.
Probably had her really young.
Now stop it!
This is important.
I have to win their love and respect. 난 그들의 사랑과 존중을 받아야 해.
Why? 왜요?
You don't even have Mary's love and respect. 당신은 메리에게 조차 사랑과 존중도 못 받잖아요.
Not at the moment, but I'm hoping that if I win her parents over, she'll see me in a new light and fall in love all over again. 지금은 아니지만, 만약 내가 그녀의 부모님을 설득한다면, 그녀가 날 새로운 시각으로 보고 다시 사랑에 빠질수도 있어.
Dick, that's genius!
I don't know.
I'd rather have a red-hot poker stuck in my eye than hang out with my girlfriend's mom and dad. 난 여자친구의 엄마, 아빠와 어울리느니 시뻘겋게 달군 부지깽이를 눈에 꽂는게 나을거 같아요.

They're very nice.
No, they're not.
They're sour, miserable people who don't like anybody. 그들은 아무도 좋아하지 않는 시큰둥하고 비참한 사람들이예요.
Oh, I should have brought flowers.
Do they like flowers?
I can get flowers.
Stop worrying.
This time tomorrow, we'll be on our way home, and you'll never see them again. 내일 이맘때면, 우리는 집에 가는 중이고, 당신은 그들을 다시는 볼 수 없을 것입니다.
I wouldn't bet on it. 저는 그것에 내기를 걸지 않을 거예요. (그렇게는 안될걸요)
What's that supposed to mean? 그게 무슨 뜻이예요?

She's on another one of those crazy crash diets, right, Dick?
Well, no, I just don't think she likes your lasagna as much as I do, Martha.
Yes, I do, and I'm not on a diet.
I'm happy the way I am.
Well, there comes a point when you just have to accept what the good lord has given you.
Lord knows I have.
Come on, Dick.
I'll sweeten up your drink.
Mmm.
Right.
Right.
George, I'm right behind you.
Well, Mary your daddy and I are just tickled pink that Dick is the one.
The one what? Oh, Mary Margaret, you know very well the one what.
Mr.
Right.
The man you're going to marry.
Oh.
Yeah.
That's the plan.
I'm just ecstatic.
I don't know why you're not a little more excited.
Oh, I am, mother.
Sometimes I get so giddy I can hardly contain myself.
But you know, you can only scream so long before you black out!

God, I'm gonna miss this place.
Yeah.
Why are you moving, big-ass rats? No.
They raised the rent.
Oh.
That's too bad.
It's so big and bright.
My room only has one window, and it looks out on the slaughterhouse, and sometimes a brown mist floats in and makes my hair all greasy.
If I'd have known that, you could've moved in here with me.
Us? Roommates? Just you and me, no guys? Yeah.
But it's too late for that, I guess.
No! No, it's not.
Finally, the last box.
My back is killing me.
Oh.
Y-you gotta keep it loose.
Hey, you know what you do? You go down, you get all of Nina's stuff off the truck, and then you go back to our place, get my stuff, and bring it back here.
Boy.
You really think it'll work?

Come on.
I'll tell you one thing, Dick.
This is one bar I'll never get thrown out of.
Oh, Dick, I'll show you where the linens are so you can make up the couch.
The couch? Oh, now, punkin, it's perfectly Ok with daddy and me if you and Dick share the same room.
No! No, I-it's not.
I know how uncomfortable it makes you feel.
Really? Never stopped you before.
Oh, but, mom, I-- really, princess, no, it's fine with us.
About time this house saw some action.
No, dad, really, I--I-- say no more, George! It's settled.
Mary and I will share a room.
Done deal.
Now let's go outside and smoke these things.
I've got some funny stories about Mary.
Oh ho ho ho ho ho! Me, too.

Dick, can I see you in the bedroom? Oh, coming, magpie.
Oh, yeah.
Wonderful.
He called me son.
My plan is working.
Your plan to piss me off? No.
My plan to win their hearts and then yours.
Oh, so by joining in my parents' psycho mind games and mocking my fat childhood, you thought I'd love you again? Psycho mind games? I--Wh-- let me tell you about my wonderful parents.
In 1961, my father had an affair with a stewardess.
Well you mean a flight attendant.
No.
A stewardess.
That despicable dog! My mother found them together, and she was so wonderful, she dumped it all on me.
Me, Dick, a little girl.
Oh, Mary, what an awful picture-- a bitter old drunk describing some tawdry affair while spoon-feeding you strained bananas as you sit in your little highchair.
Well, I was 9.
And you were still eating baby food? My poor Mary.
Oh, Dick, the whole-- the whole thing tore me apart.
I felt it was my fault.
It was their fault, Mary! I felt so alone.
You're not alone, Mary, not anymore! And to think I had my hand in that man's humidor!

All right! Maybe I did.
But I was too fat, and I hated my body, and those damn diet pills made me crazy.
You took diet pills? Our family doctor prescribed them.
For god's sakes, it was the sixties! She went to Dr.
Powell for more than just pills.
[Gasps.]
Dr.
Powell?! He had hair in his ears.
She went to Dr.
Powell, who was her cousin.
He was my step-cousin! He was my golf partner! He was a man! Enough! You two lie to each other and cheat on each other, and I'm stuck in the middle.
You've made my life miserable.
Why the hell did the two of you stay married? [Through clenched teeth.]
To try to give you a happy home.
Oh, my god! Look at the two of you! Have you no shame?

Oh! Oh! So honesty's your game, is it? Yeah, I'll give you honesty.
Your precious little Mary Margaret ragamuffin magpie has been lying to you! She didn't even want to come here because she didn't want to tell you that-- our engagement is off! We're through! But that's Ok, because I don't want to marry her anyway.
I don't want to marry anyone-- Not after meeting you.
If this marriage was a horse, you'd shoot it! Dick, we forgive you.
Forgive me? Would you like some cocoa? I don't want any cocoa.
I don't want anything.
I just want to climb into a spaceship and fly to a far-off galaxy, millions of light-years away from this twisted and sadistic human freak show! He's the one.
He's the one.

s03e03 Tricky Dick

하얀 고양이 — Sun, 11 Jun 2023 05:22:28 +0900

3rd Rock from the Sun
s03e03 Tricky Dick

Clear! You see, Sally, there's nothing to be concerned about.
You've got to get-- oh, my god! Mr.
Potato man! Who would do such a thing? Hello, Dick.
Oh, Sally.
How could you do this? I was mad at you, and I guess I took it out on a perfectly innocent plastic potato.
Be glad it wasn't your butt.
Look, why can't you just drop this? Fine.
I got engaged to you and didn't tell you I had a wife.
I said I was sorry.
It made me feel terrible, but I've stopped beating myself up about it.
Well, that makes one of you.
It's Ok, Nina.
Nothing to worry about.
I'm over it.
I'm an adult.
I'm moving on.

Solomon! You got a guitar, right? No.
Yes, you do.
Tommy: no, not really.
You any good? Yes, you are.
We're forming a new band.
A new band? Well, what happened to state of contusion? Creative differences.
Now we're whiskey kitten.
And you're our lead guitarist.
I've always wanted to date a guy in a band.
And that's exactly why I'm joining this band.
That's the spirit, Solomon.
Rehearsal tonight.
Your place.

A woman may say that she wants a man to be obedient and nice, but does she really want that? Yes, she does.
No, she doesn't, because then she'll just walk all over you.
Amen to that, my friend.
Women are maddening.
They pretend to be so adult, but just like that, they'll sink all the way down to your level.
Tell me, my friend, is that fair? Yes, it is.
No, it's not.
Let me ask you something, my friend.
Do you want Sally to want you more than ever? No, he doesn't.
Yes, I do.
This just isn't my day.
Then you've got to show her who's boss.
Lay down the law.
You think? I know.
Be firm, my friend.
Power! It's the only language women understand.
You show Sally who wears the pants, my friend.
That's the way.
Thank you, my friends.
You're right! I wear the pants! And inhale and exhale.

Dr.
Albright! Dr.
Albright! You got something from the white house! Open it! What?! Open it! "Dear Dr.
Mary Albright, "in recognition of your achievements "in the field of undergraduate education, "you are hereby invited to the president's dinner honoring academic excellence.
" Oh, my god.
"Enclosed itinerary" blah, blah, blah "cherry tree inn on the Potomac.
"Looking forward to meeting you, "sincerely, bill and Hillary rodham-- potato head.
" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Very funny.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just had to! Ha ha ha ha ha! This was stupid and childish.
I know.
But we're even now, right? Oh, yeah.

The time has come to lay down the law.
If you're not ready to give this relationship 110% then maybe we should start seeing other people.
Don! I can't believe you're saying this.
Well, I am.
If it turns out there's somebody that we want, we should be free to just move on.
Don, it's like you can read my mind! It is? Yeah.
You see, there's this guy I met--Matthew-- and I gotta level with you.
I want him bad! You do? Well good.
No need wasting precious seconds pining over Don.
Exactly! Oh, Don, you really understand me.
I mean, you know what I need and you tell me to go for it.
It's like you're the best friend a gal like me could have.
Sally, would you do me a favor? Absolutely.
Hold on to my gun.

Hey, Tommy.
How's the band? Well, uh, we've avoided the trap of over-rehearsing, which can be a problem, you know , when you've only got one song.
I wrote a song.
Did you? [Singing badly.]
Picture window paints my mind black horizon's valentine rock and roll, baby!

Oh, you just want to quit 'cause you can't win.
Oh, my poor defeated Mary.
You're just outmatched, that's all.
But it takes a big woman to admit that.
And just to show there are no hard feelings, I'm going to-- my arm is stuck.
That's strange.
So is this one.
It's almost as if there was glue on my desk.
Dick, don't be ridiculous.
It couldn't be glue.
It must be thermal bond epoxy.
No! Uhhhh! Uhh! Ohh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Mistake.
Huge mistake.

The song problem is over, Tommy.
I wrote 4 new songs last night.
Excuse me, but since when are you in this band? Tommy, tell them.
Tell them what? You're not in the band.
Well, if that's how you feel, I quit the band.
Well, maybe you should rephrase that to acknowledge the fact that you were never in this pathetic, non-performing band! You know, that is it, Solomon.
Your attitude is just tearing this band apart.
You're out of the band! I never wanted to be in the band! I'm sorry, but you're gonna have to go.
What? Harry!

Women! You can't live with 'em, and you can't have heterosexual sex without 'em.
That's probably true.
Well, I'm outta here.
When Sally shows up with Mr.
Yoga, I'm liable to go medieval on his ass.
Bye, Don.
What can you do? You do things your way, they're not happy.
You do things their way, they're still not happy.
When are we gonna learn you can't deal with women? The female feigns weakness only to use it as a weapon.
It's like the praying mantis.

s03e02 Fun with Dick and Janet (2)

하얀 고양이 — Sun, 11 Jun 2023 05:20:10 +0900

s03e02 Fun with Dick and Janet (2)

Damn right you're sorry! Sorry as hell! You're-- now bring me another beer.
Because I drink! And I drink a lot! I'm a booze hound, I am.
And what's worse, when I drink, I get a head of steam.
I get all punchy, and I like to lash out! Oh, you're not so bad.
Ahhgod! Why can't you dress nice? Look at you! You look like someone who--who-- isn't dressed all that nice.
Well, I could change for you.
And look at that apron.
[Crying.]
I like that apron.
[Sobbing.]
It's pretty.
With all the hearts and--And the words and--and the hearts [Wailing.]
Oh, that's Ok, baby.
You can wear the apron.
Oh, god, I'm sorry! [Sobbing.]
You're a nice person, and it's not your fault that the big giant fathead made you come here and live with people you don't even know! [Sobbing.]
I've always depended on the kindness of strangers.
[Sobbing.]
Mama make it all better! I'm all messed up inside, mama.

And it's all because my eyes were opened to a world I never knew existed.
Thanks, Harry.
[Sighs.]
You can't listen to him.
It doesn't exist.
Oh, yes.
It does.
Look what I found in the wheat field.
[Gasps.]
[Gasps.]
[Gasps.]
It's the fusion chamber! The what? The fusion chamberlain.
The fusion chamberlain show.
With your host, fusion chamberlain! Whoo! Whoo I've never seen it.
Sally, what I have in my hand is a piece of a terrifying alien spacecraft.
Undeniable proof that they've landed.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to pack this in dry ice and drive it to the regional field office of the Fbi in Cleveland.
Why dry ice? Gives a nice smoky effect.
Well good-bye, Sally.
Good-bye? I'm off to save the earth from the scum of the universe.
Fbi? What are we gonna do? Don't panic.
I have the solution.
You're gonna go down to the police station and take the fall.
Tell them it was a prank.
Why me? Well, you're a minor.
They'll go easy on you.
Besides, we all have to make some sacrifices around here.
Ok.
What sacrifice are you making? The shame of having a juvenile delinquent for a nephew, Ok? I'm not angry, Tommy.
I'm justdisappointed.

Good morning.
Daah! Ohh! What's going on? Yeah, Dr.
Solomon, why don't you tell her what's going on? She's lying.
What? Mary, you can't listen to a thing she says because it's--it's-- I-it'sopposite Wednesday! Opposite Wednesday? Yes! Everything she tells you, you're supposed to think the opposite.
All the secretaries are doing it.
No! Is this true? See? Ah ha ha ha! Love is war, peace is hate.
If she says she's happy, she's actually sad.
If she says I was with another woman last night, it's because I actually wasn't! You were with another woman? She's just saying that.
Save your breath.
I already told her.
Oh, Mary, it's true.
I was with a woman last night.
Hah! I didn't really tell her.
What?! It's opposite Wednesday.
Gr--ohh, Nina! You're an evil genius!

Excuse me.
Could you tell-- oh, my god! Look at the cute tuchus on you! Can we help you? I am sure you can.
Well, campus information is-- look at you! Are you looking for somebody? Uh, yes, Dr.
Solomon.
He's my husband.
I didn't know Dr.
Solomon had a wife.
Well, this is my first time out of the house.
Uh, h-he's in the next building.
Thank you.
See you around campus, bubbele.

Dick, honey, I brought your lunch! My god.
Janet! I mean-- who are you?! I'm your wife, silly.
She's your what?! His wife.
Nice to meet you.
You're married? Well, uh, not in the way you think.
You told me your wife was dead! That's what she told me! I'm not dead! Your wife is coming! Your wife is coming! Your wife-- son of a bitch! Ohh! Mary! Please! Wait, Mary! We may be too late.
Gee you think? So who's the shiksa? Mary, please, wait.
Mary, you've got to listen.
Mary-- Mary, please stop! I have to tell you something, something that will clear up this whole mess.
I can't wait to hear this.
Ok.
Here's the absolute truth.
I have a wife.
Fine.
I'll give you that.
But, Mary, there's something you don't realize.
She doesn't understand me.
Oh, you poor thing.
You're the only woman I love.
Oh, great.
And when I'm with her, all I think about is you.
Where have I heard that before? Oh, I know! Every married man I've ever dated.
How many married men have you dated? Just one, Dick.
You! Because I don't do that.
And you know what else I don't do with married men? Marry them! Hey, hey, hey, congratulations, you two! Oh, Mary.
Look, I'm confused, and you're confused, so let's just stop all this nonsense, go to a motel, and make love.
Oh, come on, Dick.
You're married.
Do you understand? Married.
And you lied about it.
I never want to see your face again.

I mean, jeez, if I get to pick the person I'm in love with, I'm gonna get somebody really good-looking! Oh! I'm gorgeous.
I mean, I saw these guys today at the school, and they were just unbelievably beautiful! I mean, they had all these muscles.
Well, I have muscles.
No, I mean real muscles! And they were young, and they were hard, and they had all their hair, even right here.
Huh! Hair is very overrated.
It takes away from the size of your face.
Well, don't take it personally, Dick.
I mean, you just said yourself that you don't love me.
Ok.
Now, which way's Vegas? But, Janet, it's a big world out there.
Where will you go? What will you do? Oh, don't worry about me, Dick.
We'll always have Rutherford.
Bye, Janet.
Bye, Janet.
What? Janet's leaving? Yes.
Noooo! Janet, don't go! I don't believe it.
The fake mother of my phony son.
I've been dumped by my wife and my fiancee in the same day.
Ohh! What about me? I've lost a live-in maid, a cook, a gardener, a chauffeur, and an electrician.
I loved her!

Don, where's Tommy? Oh, you're too late.
Whoa! You killed Tommy?! No, I let him go.
You let Tommy go to his death?! Waagh! Hey, Harry.
Aah! Ohh! He's alive.
Oh, huh sorry.
Nice tie.
What did they do to you? It was pretty scary.
As a juvenile, I could've spent 200 hours cleaning up other people's trash on the highway.
But I wanted to teach him a lesson, so I charged him as an adult.
What does that mean? I got a $40 fine.
Where'd you get $40? I paid it.
Damn the system! Thanks, Don.
I owe youbig.

It's me.
What do you want? Janet's gone forever, Mary.
She's gone.
We're divorcing.
She's not around to ruin our lives anymore.
This isn't about her, Dick.
She didn't lie to me.
She's not the one who didn't tell me about her! Mary, I wanted to.
What else is there, Dick? Dick? [Gasps.]
There is something else, isn't there? And you can't tell me, can you? Ohh! Good-bye, Dick.
I'm sorry.
So I guess there's no way you would ever marry me.